Networking can be an amazing prospecting tool. But to make it work for you, you need to be listening more than you're talking. So how do you get people to open up? The questions you ask.
I've been in business for about 20 years and done a lot of networking in that time. Some great events, plenty of mediocre ones, a few that were genuinely terrible. What made the difference between them? The people in the room — and how I chose to spend my time with them.
You don't get to pick who shows up to an event. The only thing you control is who you talk to and what you ask them. So here are the questions I lean on at every networking event.
The Five Questions
- What do you do?
Yes, the basic one. Start here — but don't end here. - Who do you work with?
This is where you find out if they're talking to people you want to be talking to. Their target client tells you whether there's a real referral fit. - What sets you apart?
Now you find out if they have a clear sense of their own value or if they're just doing what everyone else in their industry does. Both are useful to know. - How do you typically find your business?
The big tell. People who say “referrals” usually have a referral game and might be open to a partner. People who say “cold outreach” or “ads” usually don't. - What other events have you found valuable?
Free intelligence on which rooms are worth your time. People who actually network well will have opinions here.
What to Do With the Answers
Once you have the answers to those five, you'll have a pretty good sense of whether this is a person worth following up with after the event.
For perspective, I aim to keep my conversations at networking events to about five minutes each. That's enough to ask the questions, get a read, and make a decision. And don't be afraid to pull the ripcord if you realize halfway through that this isn't the right person for you to spend more time with. You've got a goal here — it's not just a happy hour. Don't waste your time with someone who's not going to help you reach it.
The Most Important Step
One last tip: if you realize the person you're talking to is someone you want to connect with after the event, ask if they'd be interested in getting together again. Right there, in the conversation. Don't leave it as “we should grab coffee sometime.”
That way, when you follow up the next day, you can reference the moment in the conversation where you both agreed — and you're much more likely to actually get the meeting on the calendar.
Five questions. Five minutes. Then either move on, or lock in the next step. That's how you turn a networking event into a pipeline instead of a stack of business cards.