If you've watched any of my videos, you know I'm a huge believer in referrals. I teach webinars about how to do it. I write articles about how to do it. I even started a podcast on how to build your business with referrals.
So with all of that research and experience, you know what I've found is the best way to get referrals?
Ask.
There was a study that found something like 80% of clients and partners are willing to give referrals to their referral partners and service providers. So why don't more people get tons of referrals for their businesses? That same study found that only about 7% of salespeople and service providers actually ask for them.
Seven percent.
That number is shocking, but it makes sense when you think about it. For some people, asking for referrals feels as natural as “where's the bathroom?” For everyone else, it feels uncomfortable — sometimes downright awkward. So let's talk about a few practical ways to make the ask without it feeling weird.
Five Ways to Ask That Don't Feel Salesy
- Make it part of your onboarding process.When a new client signs on, set the expectation early that referrals are part of how you grow. They're excited about working with you — use that energy.
- Add it to your client retention sequence. If you already have ongoing touchpoints with clients (and you should), bake referral asks into them at natural moments — after a milestone, at renewal, after a big win.
- Leverage LinkedIn.Your connections are already there. Most of them know what you do. A specific, low-pressure ask (“Do you know anyone dealing with X?”) outperforms a generic “send me referrals” every time.
- Ask “who do you know?” questions.Not “do you know anyone” (that's a yes/no question and the answer is almost always no). “Who do you know who's dealing with X?” — that gets people thinking.
- Look for referral partners, not just referrals. Individual referrals are great. A referral partner who sends you three a quarter, every quarter, is a different game entirely.
I know this all sounds simple. It is. But simple isn't the same as easy. Asking for things you want — even things you've unquestionably earned — can feel uncomfortable. The discomfort is normal. The fix is reps.
The other piece nobody talks about: follow-up. Asking once and then going quiet is the fastest way to make sure nothing happens. Build the ask into a rhythm so it's a natural part of the relationship, not a one-time event you have to psych yourself up for.
Start with one of the five above. The one that feels least scary. Try it for a month and see what happens. Then add another.
You don't need to be a great closer to get great referrals. You just need to be the one who actually asks.